Use Space Mindfully to be a More Effective Communicator
(Discovered and Developed by Tim Hallbom and Suzi Smith)
Why use it?
To facilitate communicating with others, giving feedback, and really connecting with the using space, body posture and gestures.
What is it? Subtle shifts in body posture will create dramatically different experiences in communication and connection with others. Organizing spatial relationships and body orientation makes a profound difference in the way that information is received.
How do I do it? This is a self-discovery process. Merely reading about it won’t give you the same discoveries as actually doing it, and you will just end up with an “academic” understanding.
Exercise: Role-play
In pair, appoint two roles:
Employee who is coming to work late.
Supervisor who gives feedback about this to the employee.
Give feedback “Face to Face”
Supervisor gives feedback “face to face” When the feedback is given notice what happens in the way that the supervisor delivers the feedback, and the way it is received by the employee. Explore the distance between supervisor and employee, the angle of the supervisor’s feet (straight vs. toes turned out.)
Distance: In most Western cultures, people will communicate with each other face to face about arms-length apart. Start by giving the feedback from arm’s length away. Supervisor experiment by splaying his/her feet slightly and voice the feedback, then give it with the feet straight. Notice the response received and the way that it feels to be the supervisor with each of these variations. Now step closer and express the feedback from 15 inches away. Again, take a moment to notice the feelings and any shifts in voice tone, words selected or in other behaviors.
Now move apart so you are 7 or 8 feet distant. Deliver the feedback and note changes the on both people’s part.
Give feedback “From the employee’s side.”
Give the feedback about coming to work late while standing at a ¾ angle from your partner. Notice what shifts in the analogue of the supervisor and employee. Explore adding a brief touch as you speak (This is a half second touch on the arm, the kind you might use if someone is in your way and you touch them slightly and say, “Excuse me.”) Notice how the entire auditory tenor shifts in the tone of the feedback.
Finally, try giving the feedback on the right side, then the left. Most people will have a profoundly different experience giving/receiving feedback from different sides. Feedback from one side to the other creates an entirely different system. The reason there is such a difference is not about hand dominance, internal time representations or right brain –left brain issues. It instead has to do with the internal location of your critical voice. Most people have a critical voice that evaluated their behavior and judges their performance. It will tend to be located on one side or the other, in most cases. People prefer the feedback from the opposite side. This is a non-trivial distinction and can make an amazing difference in the way that information is received.
